What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

What happens when you get sick in a country with universal healthcare? What's the process like?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

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Make Nazis afraid again!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

What’s wrong with anti-imperialism?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Why do ugly men flirt with girls that are really hot?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Why do men love to stink/being smelly?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

What are some great short jokes?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

How can we understand the mind of a Trump supporter?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Why do you allow your cat to lie in bed with you?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.